Vampires would love to take a bite out of the Big Apple.
New York City, with nearly 9 million potential victims and its rollicking late-night bar scene, makes the perfect metropolis for Dracula and his caped brethren to establish their lairs, a new report found.
Lawn care company Lawn Love surveyed the top 500 cities across the country, weighing infrastructure and businesses vital to the vampiric lifestyle like blood centers and basement dwellings along with deterrents such as garlic festivals, to determine where bloodsuckers could best rest easy while hanging upside down.
Beyond offering a giant human buffet for vampires, New York City soared to the top due to its abundance of vampire-friendly clubs (7) and groups (6) as well as a sizable number of casket makers (30) and blood centers (23), according to the survey.
Chicago came in second as a potential hub for vampires, partly due to its overwhelming amount of homes with basements (85%); while Columbus, Ohio, placed third as a result of its paltry annual average of sunshine (46% of the year) and sizable number of blood drives (39).
“Of any city in North America, [New York City] would be the best city for vampires,” said Father Sebastiaan, founder of the Endless Night Vampire Ball and an outsized figure in the “real” vampire community across the five boroughs in the ‘90s.
Sebstiaan praised the city’s towering buildings for helping keep vampires out of the sun, along with the underground honeycomb of subway tunnels and sewers where they could nest.
“The mole people, there could be vampires hanging out with them — or they could be vampires,” he added.
Avondale, Peoria, and Buckeye, AZ, all ranked dead last, as vampires would bake to death in the blistering sunshine, and with few basements to avoid the blinding light, the survey found.
John Edgar Browning, an academic and author specializing in vampire lore and mythology, added New York City’s gala circuit would be one of the top allures for the fanged community.
“Vampires love society-type balls and parties, so when it comes to cities they can get their society on, that’s gonna be New York City,” he said. “Vampire are concerned with more than just finding their next meal ticket.”